I am 27 years old and a size 22. It has taken me this long to
realize that those are just numbers, and do not make who I am. I have
always been very self conscious about my size, and hated it. However,
with groups and co-workers I would joke about my size and acted like I
couldn't care less what others thought. Only the ones that really knew
me, knew that secretly I couldn't stand anything about myself. The
confidence that others saw was fake and the smile was only a disguise
that held back the tears.
For many years, I struggled with depression that led to mood swings, ruined relationships, and even some bodily harm. I was fat, and felt like I didn't deserve any better for myself. I was my own worst enemy. If someone tried to compliment me I would either smile and nod, or actually scoff at them. I couldn't understand why someone would be so cruel as to tell me I was beautiful when it was very obviously a lie.
This carried on for many years, and things were only getting worse. Then I met a woman that absolutely blew me away. She was my size if not bigger, but she was gorgeous, confident, curvy, and exuded sexiness from every pore. She was everything I wanted to be. She could see through me, and knew the pain I was going through. In the end, she made me see myself in a entirely new light.
For the first time in my life, I was able to accept myself. It was the most freeing sensation I have ever felt. I could feel the moment the metaphorical weight lifted from my shoulders. I stood straighter, and looked at myself in the mirror. I could see the beautiful strong woman standing in front of me. I was the sexy curves, the bright hazel eyes,the sunny auburn hair, and the fair skin with a light dusting of freckles; I was me! Finally, I am able to focus less of the numbers and more on the person. I want to help other woman through the same struggle. I want to show her she is so much more than a dress size. She is smart, she is funny, she is herself, and that is what makes her beautiful.
For many years, I struggled with depression that led to mood swings, ruined relationships, and even some bodily harm. I was fat, and felt like I didn't deserve any better for myself. I was my own worst enemy. If someone tried to compliment me I would either smile and nod, or actually scoff at them. I couldn't understand why someone would be so cruel as to tell me I was beautiful when it was very obviously a lie.
This carried on for many years, and things were only getting worse. Then I met a woman that absolutely blew me away. She was my size if not bigger, but she was gorgeous, confident, curvy, and exuded sexiness from every pore. She was everything I wanted to be. She could see through me, and knew the pain I was going through. In the end, she made me see myself in a entirely new light.
For the first time in my life, I was able to accept myself. It was the most freeing sensation I have ever felt. I could feel the moment the metaphorical weight lifted from my shoulders. I stood straighter, and looked at myself in the mirror. I could see the beautiful strong woman standing in front of me. I was the sexy curves, the bright hazel eyes,the sunny auburn hair, and the fair skin with a light dusting of freckles; I was me! Finally, I am able to focus less of the numbers and more on the person. I want to help other woman through the same struggle. I want to show her she is so much more than a dress size. She is smart, she is funny, she is herself, and that is what makes her beautiful.
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